Another great example of newroom editing

A Great Example of awesomeness

KWGN TV Denver, Colorado Promo

The honor of "Worst News Team in the Galaxy," goes to KWGN Denver Channel 2's D-listers.
According to Wikipedia, On March 30, 2009 the station underwent a rebranding, and became known as "the Deuce" in an effort to appeal to a younger audience and be more involved in local issues.
Well, that makes alot of sense- nice "Rebranding," KWGN.
Channel 2's catch phrase, "News On the Deuce," is often mistaken for, "News and a Deuce," which can be interpreted as their news reporting is similar to crap. They also use the phrase, "Daybreak on the Deuce," which is really self explanatory.
Channel 2's only quality news anchor was Ernie Bjorkman. Channel 2 sucked so bad that Ernie left his ancorspot to become an anchorvet-tech.

Poor Denver News Anchors... today you were forced to report the story about this man (see picture to the left), who kidnapped two hikers near Nederland. This stellar police drawing reminds me of another fantastic drawing of a suspected criminal....

THE ALABAMA LEPRECHAUN.

If you have not yet seen the video, check out this link... I don't care about the leprechaun, watch the news anchors!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

Today, Gregg Moss's mole (GMM) appeared sunburned, Poor GMM! Here is a special Haiku just for GMM...

Red hot precious mole,
What happened yesterday, yo?
Not protected well

Becky Ditchfield, a.k.a. "Becky Nerdfield"

Details: Becky is the proud owner of 47 woolcoats for her reports from the 9News "Backyard". You may think that Becky is hip and fashionable but it all a cover-up. Lurking beneath the hair highlights and expensive cosmetics is a super-nerd. Becky's true colors can occassionally be witnessed when Gary Shapiro makes stupid comments to her, like, "Becky, do you think flash floods are awesome?," or "Becky, I bet that snowstorm will kill a few hundred homeless pets tonight..," to which Becky retorts with a few giggles and definate SNORTS.

Kathy Sabine, a.k.a. "Man Hands"

Details: You might think that Kathy is petite, but check her out next to any other anchor- she is actually 6'9". 9News has actually created a second, "Backyard," especially for Kathy to report your weather from- equipped with 150% scale props so as to fool you. Don't believe me? Check out where her anchorsuit sleeves hit her midforearm instead of the wrist. Those glorious wool suits ain't 3/4-sleeved, Kathy just has a wingspan of 9 feet. Check out her hands in relationship to Ashton Altieri's head- he looks like a teacup yorkie compared to her.

Gregg Moss, a.k.a "Mr. Potato Head"

Details: Gregg is featured in the segment, "Where is the world is.......Greeegggg Moss?," a quirky, pre-dawn, irrelevent segment that I regularily TiVo. Poor Gregg is forced weekly to go somewhere in Denver at 4:30 a.m. to interview local vampires who work in schools and bakeries. I pray that Gregg never ends up reporting from a potato processing plant, because his head might accidently get peeled and end up as part of some KFC mashed potato bowl .

Gregg also reports as a business anchor but nobody cares about that.

Mark Koebrich, a.k.a. "Superanchorman; Ken; Mr. Credible"

Details: Mark was a diamond in the ruff for 9News. He was picked up at the Discount Superstore for News Anchors to replace the handsome and expensive Bob Kendrick. Never has 9News picked up such a bargain. Mark's glorious anchorhair alone was worth the price! Mark makes the other anchors look like interns. He is smooth, with just the right, "I am better than you," attitude. He is paired with Kim Christiansen. Stay Classy.......Planet Earth.

Watch Mark on the evening news then switch over to other channels to see just how amazing he is. He has chunks of guys like Ron Zappolo in his stool.

Nick Carter, a.k.a. "Not the Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter"

Details:Nick used to be a fabulous 9News weatherman, but like his boy band namesake, his popularity has waned, replaced by the younger and more chipper Ashton Altieri. You can still occasionally catch Nick on air singing "I Want It That Way," much to the delight of his now middle-aged fans... Oops, wrong Nick.

Libby Weaver

Libby Weaver, a.k.a. "AnchorBabe"

Details: Libby is Denver's pin-up anchor. Libby is one of the few non-9News anchors to be featured here. She can often be seen wearing mystical amulets disguised as jewelry. These large, globe-like pendants emphasize her large globe-like boobs. Her co-anchor is Ron Zappalo on channel 31. Her large boobs help to balance-out Ron's super-sized ego.

9News Today...
Dear Lord, Kyle Dyer broke out her best space suit yet this morning. All white, mandarin collar, no visible buttons. My heart is so full of joy I am not sure if I can handle any more. Saw Gregg Moss and his head was such a perfect Yukon Gold potato. and there was a rare sighting this morning of Chris Vanderveen. My day is almost complete. I just need a glimpse of Mark Koebrich's glossy mane and perfect skin to feel whole.

Amelia Earhart, a.k.a., "9 News Sky Reporter; That IS my name..For Reals"

Details: 9 News is clearly jockeying Amelia for prime time. Amidst great fanfare, Amelia left Denver to go big-time in Los Angeles and rather abruptly returned. Unfortunately, Amelia's helicopter was cut from the budget and she was reduced to standing in front of the camera in the studio, talking about the morning commute. Like a batch of yummy cookies whose smell slowly creeps from the kitchen to the family room, Amelia is slowly creeping in front of the camera. Warning to Kyle, Cheryl, Kathy and Adele, this young hottie with the marketable moniker is poised to vanquish you to the crack crew of channel 2 news.

Gary Shipiro, a.k.a., "Ron Burgundy; The Joker"

Details: Gary will bring you great joy each morning with his embarrassing transitions from reporting epic tragedies to goofy local news, all in one breath. Even his co-anchor, Kyle Dyer, is not immune to Gary's bizarre emotional twists. Each morning, as Kyle is preparing the transmission of important data to the galaxy, you can catch her looking at Gary like he is a complete freakshow. Which he is.

Your Guide to the News Desk

Kyle Dyer, a.k.a. "Your morning news lady from the future ."
Details: This leading newslady wears a bright solid color space suit each morning- guaranteed to brighten your day and prepare you for your galactic journey with all the latest breaking news. FAR OUT! Kyle is way smarter than her co-anchor Gary Shapiro .